Saturday, July 28, 2007@1:07 AM
i am bored...
boredom strikes so i'm blogging again. warning; semi emo post ahead.
forget to say that on thursday night i spent a long time making a new theme for my phone with haehae's pics. hmmm mainly satisfied with the way it turned out but i hate that i can't make the morelist transparent like. or translucent, whichever. i'm also very bad at mixing colours. sigh. so the coloured themes always comes up like crap. the previous one i did of ryu in monotone black and white and grey; the font sometimes appear to be too faint but i'm too lazy to change it.
going to make a new phone for ryu using pastel green colour schemes. it's just a pain in the ass to make the buttons and the lists and the tabs...and i like rounded corners so it takes twice as long. and the downloaded ones aren't that good (rather i don't like them) so i'm not using them.
and i still can't believe my drama eps are not out yet. T_T i'm so bored i could cry. wer's my damn hana kimi?
had a vast change in mood since idon'tknowwhattime. suddenly my mood just goes kerthunk jatuh right to the bottom and this happens often too. even got sien chatting with family so yeah (i want nice things from HK!! T_T)
very bored and i have nothing new to read. well i do lah but don't feel like reading also. lately there hasn't been any book that can grab my attention for longer than a few pages. not counting harry potter but then again i was on the plane with nothing to do (which is why i saved the book to read on the plane in the first place). but with other books i just can't help putting it down after a few pages. and sometimes i buy books based on other people's recommendations (like when i read their reviews in soompi's thread or something) and the outcome for me is not what i expected. and i even read the synopsis of the book online beforehand to see whether i feel like i like it or not. sigh. hoping to kick this oddity out soon because i have a list of books i want to get and i don't want to feel stupid after reading it or feeling like it was a waste of my time (and money) or something. i want to get something that i can reread 1000x times and not feel bored.
anyway now dl-ing minbong's and wannie's perfs that i think i don't have but will eventually find in the maze of my HDD folders.
on another note i've been trying to keep up with fc work but as some of us might know it's difficult lah. compared to the other fc it's like...i don't know what's my motivation for persisting in it lor. i mean the other one has so many members and so many things to show and basically had many events d but then oursis like...dead. super dead. i see the list of paid members and the last member was at the #1 of payment pending people. not to mention i don't know where the fuck (sorry gotta curse) all the damn money is. i know roughly where it is but the thing is there is no paper trail. even though i'm unsystematic and i'm messy but this is not about our personal savings. i couldn't give a shit where you put your money but this is like...an official kinda thing so why can't anyone keep a paper trail for it and return the damn money if you know you had it and are not using it? this really bugs me lor and i regret i didn't keep a system before i left and turned things over. anyway, again and again we plan things but yet as usual it gets buried under the pile of more important things to do. kononlah. seriously as someone so often threatens to, why don't we just break up the fc in this case. sigh. in any case i'll be hanging in there with jess and seeing what we can try to do as the kononnya upcoming event will be her bf's bday. so yeah. and apparently there's another member's bday in august too so takkanlah we do one event and ignore the other right (no i don't memorise their bdays so sue me). and what's going to happen when we run out of $ to do crap and we just don't do the remaining members' bdays and what about those ppl who had their bdays before august? sigh. so inconsistent. can we take a break throughout 2007 and come back better than ever in 2008?
anyway just feel so useless now that nothing is in it's right place and when ppl ask us about it we don't know anything at all or any direction so basically we just suck their money and not tell them our plans for it and we have nothing to show for it too. i don't wonder why people are not lining up oso lah to tell the truth. anyway just pissed at the other 20+ people who register for the sake of registering but don't bother to pay up so yeah in my mental list i'm blacklisting them hmmph.
my laptop's lagging because i'm typing too fast and i hate it.
sigh. cna't even play music in this lousy laptop because it eats up ram and foobar hangs on me and i cna't even close it using taskbar so i hafto force shut my laptop. celaka. so the only sound i've been listening to in the last few i don't know how many hours i've been sitting in front of my laptop is the sound of my occasional typing and the constant hum of my heater.
maybe i should jsut go to sleep. =.=
in brunei i could stay up till like 2 or 3 or 4 am because i had the tv to break the monotone of the laptop. sigh. i miss watching justice league and fosters (yeah i only watch cartoons, so? ==)
sigh. sien case lah. hope to sleep and wake up from this funky mood. i miss kingdom mass chats. and my ear hurts. and i forgot to get sea salt and lemons and multivitamins and salted lurpak butter and a bunch of crap that i wanted.
and i'm even getting irritated at the bunch of people in bestiz posting up their crap pictures of the same blady event which i just clicked like 20+ links of pictures of in bestiz. i mean seiorusly (yeah still can't type that word in one go) if the pic is like blurry to the point that you looked like u ps-ed it would you put it up?? grr. not to mention i have to open each link in a new tab because there's no links at the bottom of the page. sigh. not worth being irrtated about but yeah i know =.= oh i just clicked on a link with nice hae pics heh. i think i've got to burn out my suju collection of pics and delete them.
sigh.
edit. jess just showed me a fan made scrapbook/magazine thing that [an artist] received from his fans which he gratefully expressed his thanks for. one look at it and my mood again went kerthunk because pessimistically i am quite sure we will be unable to go to those lengths. sigh. this feeling really sucks because i'm not sure where they get the ideas for what they do and why we are unable to think the same way. is it because we are not as used to fanaticism as they are? really i would like to know.
edit2. i need an edit button next to my published post