Monday, June 23, 2008@12:12 PM
gut wrenching feeling
have been plagued by the feeling of constantly wanting to throw up. panic anxiety disorder?
cousin told me to be realistic and find a real job after i told her i'll do some part time work to pass the time. well since i can't master my driving well enough to drive on the road yet i guess that is exactly what i'll have to do isn't it? dump the part time i've already sign up for, learn to drive well under cousin in law's tutelage and just bite the bullet.
as i'm writing my resume i'm aware of how unspectacular it is. i have no ECAs or titles in school to be proud of. my work experiences are full of holes because i can't explain in detail just what i've done. the event which i poured my heart, soul, sweat, tears into - i can't even put it down on paper since it's 'still recent' and i'll be in the same working circle too. do you think people's memories are that short? i hope they are, because mine sure is.
i'm missing references. i haven't gotten my pictures taken, my documents photocopied, heck, my resume printed. simply because i don't know what direction i want to go in.
cousin asked me, what type of jobs do you want to do? well, preferably one with friends, event managing with korean artistes, but hey, you told me that was 'unrealistic'. so i guess i'll have to do whatever i can, right?
been having nightmares about answering questions for interviews >.< what if i mess up and just blow that chance? what if they ask some dreaded questions? nightmare.
cousins told me to prepare my portfolio. excuse me while i snort. i don't even have one prepared. i don't have the videos i worked on in uni. what type of writing samples am i supposed to produce? surely not the reports i wrote for a certain fc for a certain newsletter - because they're not even in my real name. so how do i prove i wrote it?
very stressful. it's just too easy to burrow myself in my comfort zone and not come out.
scared.
sigh.